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Beyond the Mind's Control Chapter 1

Title: Beyond the Mind's Control
Length: [1/10]
Author: HolyStarDown
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu,
Rating: R 
Genre: Angst, horror, drama
Disclaimer: i only own them in my dreams
Summary: No summary. deal
Author's Note: this was originally not a yunjae fic so i changed all the names of the characters. i did it for my bishee reya so blame her for the fail that is this fanfic xD it has demonic possession, implied rape, murder, adn violence so don't read it if you don't like it. also, i wrote this like.... idk 3 years ago? so it's godaweful. please forgive me for that <3

Beyond the Mind's Control Chapter 1

Yunho’s hands trembled as his eyes feasted on the sight of blood that dripped from his fingers. He drew short shaky breaths and tried to wake up his mind, but it refused to see what he had just done. Yunho didn’t wish to see it himself.

 

Crimson stained his hands and clothes and there was no avoiding it. Devastation and regret closed in around him, seeming to close his throat. I had to do it… he thought. There was no other option…

 

Even though he tried to justify his radical actions, he screamed curses and words that should never be said out loud to himself as his mind finally woke up to take in what he had done. But there was no going back now. This man was dead, and Yunho was the one who had killed him.

 

**~**~**~**~**


 
“Yunho!” A sweet voice shattered the memory and jerked Yunho back into reality. “What the hell are you doing?”

 

Yunho’s eyes slowly opened. The figure of his beyond-perfect girlfriend stood before him with his hand resting on his hip. “Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho muttered in an inaudible voice. The world around him slipped back into focus and he shook the remains of the memory from his head. “Is… school over yet?”

 

“Nope. We still have two more years to go,” Jaejoong said with a wry grin.

Yunho sighed; now was a bad time for Jaejoong’s sarcasm. “I mean of today Jaejoong-ah,” he said.

 

“Hasn’t even started yet,” Jaejoong said, outstretching his hand for Yunho.

 

For the first time, Yunho realized he was lying on the ground. Still unsure of exactly how he got there, he took Jaejoong’s hand and rose to his feet.

 

“I got kind of worried about you, Yunho. Siwon said you just collapsed over hise and refused to wake up. He was about to call the paramedics…” Jaejoong caught his lips between his teeth and looked away from his boyfriend uneasily.

 

Yunho shook his head. “There’s no need for that, I promise. Nothing to be afraid of,” he said with a reassuring smile. Even after all these years, Jaejoong’s fear of doctors still had never faded.

 

Jaejoong swung his and Yunho’s hand as he led them toward the large white building they called a high school. Only seconds after they passed through the gates, the warning bell shrieked at the students to make their way to their homeroom classes.

 

Yunho’s mind crawled through the first ten minutes of homeroom, fading in and out of consciousness. Temporary blackouts came regularly to him, but they were still beyond his tolerance. He knew what happened when he blacked out, and it usually resulted in disaster. And he could feel the voice in his head hissing its sins and ridiculous taunts, wanting to take over and plunge him into darkness.

 

It had been happening more often than it usually did, and the thought of his other personality’s elevating violence sent chills down his spine. His other personality had no name; Yunho was far too afraid to give it its own identity. It was bad enough that he had to hear the demonic whisper every time he closed his eyes or lost his train of thought. He thanked God that he was never able to see his face when he changed. But that was the only thing he was unaware of about his other state of mind.

 

He could hear every plan, every kill, every wicked thought of destruction that his Other brought to attention. None of his own thoughts were hidden from his Other and nothing good that he thought of was left untwisted.

 

The school bell rang again and Jaejoong pushed through his usual crowd of fawners to Yunho’s desk. “Come on Yunho,” he said. He grazed Yunho’s cheek with his icy hand and rested it at the bottom of his jaw, turning his face up to look at hiss.

 

“Oh… Yeah…” Yunho slid his books into his arms and walked with Jaejoong to his locker.

 

“Bad night?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“Yeah… I can’t stay focused today…” Yunho replied with a slow shake of his head.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

“Changmin…” Yunho admitted.

 

“Oh.”

 

Yunho knew that was the final word that would be spoken of the subject. Jaejoong didn’t want to think about Changmin’s sudden death any more than he did.

 

To make everything worse, he heard Jaejoong’s cry of delight, which only meant one thing; Park Yoochun.

 

Against his better judgment, Yunho tore his eyes away from Jaejoong to stare his rival in the face. He had to admit, there was nothing wrong with Yoochun… except for the fact that he made everybody radiate with jealousy and complete awe.

 

Every girl loved Yoochun; there was no reason not to. They would jump through hoops to see him smile at them. Every tooth was perfectly aligned and caught the light, even when the world around him was pitch black. His deep onyx eyes shone with elegance and sincerity in any situation and he had a personality to match. He never said a hateful word to anybody, no matter how much they got on his nerves… and it sickened Yunho to the core.

 

Yunho was also beautiful, but, unlike Yoochun, his beauty was intimidating instead of godlike. He had flawless tan skin set against his sharp brown eyes and black hair that chopped off just above his eyes. He was very well structured and had strength beyond any normal sixteen year old boy, but he concealed it under black long sleeved shirts, loose pants, and tight wristbands. His wristbands, on the other hand, had a purpose more important than just to match his clothes.   

 

Jaejoong flung his arms around Yoochun’s neck and momentarily pressed his lips to the other boy’s cheek.

 

 

Yoochun retuned the gesture and added one of his smiles that could make angels swoon. He leaned forward in a bow to Yunho and returned his gaze to Jaejoong. “Have you seen Junsu anywhere?” he asked in a smooth, velvety voice.

 

Jaejoong shook his head and made his glossy raven-colored hair flutter around his shoulders. “Not since yesterday,” he replied.

 

“He’s in the courtyard,” Yunho said automatically. He had no idea how he knew Yoochun’s boyfriend Junsu was in the courtyard, but he knew that he wasn’t wrong. His Other gave him the thought and was never wrong.

 

Yoochun flashed a smile at Yunho. “Thanks,” he said as he turned to leave the hallway.

 

“I’m going that way too,” Jaejoong said. He slipped his arm under Yoochun’s and walked with him to the courtyard.

 

Yunho’s chest burned with jealousy and he followed Yoochun’s movement with hateful eyes. He knew Yoochun and Jaejoong weren’t involved with each other in that way, but his soul caught on fire every time he saw Jaejoong with him.

 

His Other was also riddled with jealousy of anyone who got too close to Jaejoong. He had already tried to kill Yoochun once, only succeeding in giving him a severe concussion and, ironically, it happened in a hospital. The sole reason Yoochun didn’t have his head knocked clean off his shoulders was because his Other’s control on Yunho hadn’t been as strong as it was now, slipping at the last minute, and Yunho had no will to take anyone’s life… except his own.

 

But Yoochun never held it against Yunho; he possessed a heart of gold and he knew what was really behind Yunho’s actions. He just avoided Yunho a little more than he used to since the incident and worried about Jaejoong being with Yunho without anyone else around.

 

Despite Yunho and his Other’s love for Jaejoong, his Other had tried to kill the fragile boy multiple times. His Other wanted Jaejoong to suffer for something that was beyond his control: he wanted Jaejoong to pay for him falling in love with him.

 

The next class inched by just as slowly as homeroom. Yunho managed to hear every word the teacher said even though he wasn’t paying an ounce of attention. That was one of the only redeeming qualities of having dissociative identity disorder; he could be aware of everything around him even when he was in complete mental hibernation. It saved him a lot of energy and guaranteed him good grades without paying attention at all.

 

“Yunho-sshi?” the teacher asked.

 

The voice hissed sixty eight in Yunho’s head and the words passed through Yunho’s lips, answering the question he never really heard.

 

“See class? Yunho listens so he gets the answers right. Maybe the rest of you should try it,” the teacher said.

 

Yunho and the voice that told him the answer laughed in unison at the teacher’s stupidity. If only he knew… Yunho thought.

 

**~**~**~**~**

 

Break finally came and students poured into the courtyard and hallways while some of the seniors left to take their half days. Yunho made his way through the mobs of high school students in search of his boyfriend. Not to his surprise, Jaejoong was surrounded by fawners… and Yoochun. It was times like this that Yunho hated dating the most popular boy in school, but he couldn’t help loving the black haired-beauty so he bared the crowds following Jaejoong’s every move.

 

He finally got the last layer of the crowd to part for him and felt their harsh glares on his back as he approached Jaejoong. “Come with me Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho muttered. He lightly grabbed Jaejoong’s arm and led his away from Yoochun and the rest of the student body. He finally stopped in a deserted hallway and pulled Jaejoong into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller boy.

 

Jaejoong hugged Yunho back and inhaled the sweet smell of his neck. “What’s on your mind?” he asked.

 

“You know I hate you being with him all the time Jaejoong-ah,” Yunho said, following his response with a kiss on Jaejoong’s lips.

 

“He’s been my best friend for thirteen years Yunho. I’m going to hang out with him if I want to,” Jaejoong said. He held Yunho’s gaze, trying to persuade him with his eyes. “I know you don’t like him, but just be nice. Please?”

 

Yunho sighed. He could never say no to Jaejoong. “Yeah… I will,” he mumbled in surrender.

 

“That’s all I ask for,” Jaejoong said with a bright smile. He raised himself up on his toes and pressed his lips to Yunho’s. After a few seconds, he let himself back down. “Are you still coming over after school?” he asked.

 

The voice hissed at Yunho to say no. Blow him off… it hissed. We have no business there…

 

Yunho pulled the corner of his mouth up into one of his rare smiles. “Of course I will…” he said, “as long as your parents don’t give me the death stare all night like last time.”

 

Jaejoong sighed and rolled his eyes. “We won’t even be around them,” he reassured.

 

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” Yunho said quickly. He knew too well what would happen if they were alone together and he refused to risk that with his love again.

 

“You worry too much,” Jaejoong said.

 

“More like I’m too reckless. I could never be too worried about this.”

 

“Hey, I’ve lived this far haven’t I?”

 

“Barely…” Images of Jaejoong’s encounters with his Other flashed through Yunho’s mind, tearing him apart. He gently took Jaejoong’s right arm and turned it over to reveal a pink line carved into his flawless skin from a few inches above his wrist up to his elbow. “Remember this?” he asked. He locked eyes with Jaejoong and traced the line with the tip of his finger. “I won’t let that happen again.”

 

Jaejoong jerked his arm out of Yunho’s grasp. “That was my own fault,’’ he snapped. But they both knew the truth: Yunho had lost control and his Other had dragged a blade through Jaejoong’s arm for the sheer joy of watching his boyfriend nearly bleed to death.

 

Yunho shook the memory from his thoughts. “I’d rather have your parents glaring at me; that I can deal with. You getting hurt by him again… not so much,” he said. He tucked a lock of Jaejoong’s hair behind his ear and smiled again. “I love you Jaejoong. I don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”

 

Jaejoong stood on his toes again and kissed Yunho. “Love you too, but you’re too paranoid.”

 

 

Comments

( 2 comments — Speak )
chloe1910
Jul. 24th, 2009 10:46 am (UTC)
shit..this sounds like major angst is coming this way...hm, so Yunho has DID...and his other personality really sounds rather creepy..i pray that Yunho's mind is strong enough to not let the other him take over.

I wonder what cause him to have DID. He must have been through some trauma.

I guess Jaejoong and Yoochun know about his condition then?
holystardown
Jul. 24th, 2009 05:08 pm (UTC)
yes, jaejoong yoochun and junsu know about his condition :3

and major angst... yeah. pretty much.

PeAcE
( 2 comments — Speak )

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